Headlines
We Blame Global Warming
“Obama May Need Heat Shield at Space Summit”–headline, AOL News, March 9
News She Could’ve Used
- “Sexy Seniors Need to Play It Safe”–headline, Sydney Morning Herald, Feb. 21
- “Raquel Welch’s Bustier Sets Off Alarms at O’Hare Airport After Oprah Appearance”–headline, Chicago Sun-Times, March 9
What a Cute Squirr–Oh, Look! A Mouse!
“Modern Technology Distracts Students From Animals, Life”–headline, Daily Orange (Syracuse University), March 9
‘Hey, Michael Moore, Get Your Own Damn Sushi!’
“Oscar Winners Try to Keep Whale off Sushi Plates”–headline, New York Times, March 9
You Only Live Twice
“Investors Tap Into Deathbed Bond Deal”–headline, The Wall Street Journal, March 10
Questions Nobody Is Asking
- “Sarah Palin: Guided by the Hand of God?”–headline, TheWeek.com, March 8
- “Whatever Happened to Leona Helmsley’s Dog?”–headline, New York Post, March 9
- “Has Blogging Peaked?”–headline, Christian Science Monitor, March 8
- “Men: Will You Sit and Pee for the Planet’s Sake?”–headline, Houston Chronicle Web site, March 10
- “What if Everybody in Canada Flushed at Once?”–headline, PatsPaper.com, March 8
Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking
- “Same-Sex Couples in DC Say ‘I Do’ ”–headline, CNN.com, March 9
- “Why John Lewis Knows What Middle England Wants”–headline, Daily Telegraph (London), March 9
- “Why the Badger Herald Ran That Holocaust Denier’s Ad”–headline, Isthmus (Madison, Wis.), March 5
It’s Always in the Last Place You Look
“Elevated Levels of Cobalt and Chromium Found in Offspring of Moms With Metal-on-Metal Hip Implants”–headline, Rush University Medical Center press release, March 9
Too Much Information
“The Night Yasser Arafat Kissed Me”–headline, The-American-Interest.com, March 9
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control
- “Women Fight Over Dog Feces”–headline, WKOW-TV Web site (Madison, Wis.), March 9
- “Wild Chickens Attempt Mass Escape in NYC”–headline, United Press International, March 8
- “Grisly Mystery After Scores of Starlings Fall Out of the Sky and Lie Dying . . . in a SINGLE Front Garden”–headline, Daily Mail (London), March 10
News You Can Use
“Don’t Embrace Eric Massa”–headline, The Weekly Standard Web site, March 9
Bottom Stories of the Day
- “Kay Bailey Hutchison: No Announcement Yet”–headline, Politico.com, March 9
- “Somalia Food Aid Bypasses Needy, U.N. Study Says”–headline, New York Times, March 10
- “Welsh Television Channel Attracts ‘No Viewers’ for 200 Shows”–headline, Daily Telegraph (London), March 10
- “Democrats: No Thanks to New ‘Gang of 14′ ”–healdine, Politico.com, March 10
- “Consider the Possibility That Congress Isn’t Very Smart”–headline, The American Prospect Web site, March 8
