Headlines
So Much for the War on Drugs
“Mercury Dealers to Take Hit”–headline, Detroit Free Press, June 3
The Lonely Lives of Physicists
“Physicists Reveal How to Cope With ‘Frustration’ ”–headline, University of Maryland press release, June 2
The Lonely Lives of Biologists
“Biologists Learn Why Mice Go Gaga for Urine”–headline, FoxNews.com, June 3
The Lonely Lives of Maytag Repairmen
“Maytag Corp. Recalls 1.7 Million Dishwashers”–headline, CNN.com, June 3
Dept. of Improbable Answers
- “Why Do Dogs Sniff Each Other?”–headline, Psychology Today, July 13, 2009
- “Dogs Sniff Out Prostate Cancer”–headline, WebMD.com, June 2
Layoffs at MI5
“Steep Slump in English Spooks Sector”–headline, Australian, June 2
She’s Very Superstitious
“Liz Claiborne Order to Pay in ‘Lucky’ Brand Suit”–headline, Associated Press, June 2
Questions Nobody Is Asking
- “What Happened to Thailand’s Sex Tourism During the Riots?”–headline, Slate.com, June 3
- “What Makes a Hooters Girl . . . Special?”–headline, Detroit Free Press, June 3
- “Did You Plug the Hole With a Blue Dress Yet, Daddy?”–headline, Human Events, June 2
Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking
“Steve Jobs at All Things Digital: ‘My Sex Life Is Pretty Good’ (VIDEO)”–headline, Puffington Host, June 2
Breaking News From Stardate 1514.0
“Kirk Didn’t Tell the Whole Story”–headline, Chicago Sun-Times, June 2
News You Can Use
- “Spend Less on Lawn Care by Getting More Estimates”–headline, WTOP-FM website (Washington), June 2
- “Vermont Allows Monkeys Trained as Service Animals”–headline, USA Today, June 3
Bottom Stories of the Day
- “Carter Condemns Israeli Raid on Gaza-Bound Ships”–headline, Associated Press, June 2
- “Obama Faults GOP, BP as He Defends Agenda”–headline, Los Angeles Times website, June 2
- “2006 Canadian Census Believed to Be Inaccurate”–headline, Eastman’s Online Genealogy Newsletter, June 2
Oh No, Another Beer Summit
“Obama, Brewer to Discuss Immigration”–headline, Press TV (Iran), June 3
We Blame Global Warming
“Bogar Accepts Blame for Failed Jaunts Home”–headline, WEEI-AM website (Boston), June 3
The Lonely Lives of Scientists
“Scientists Find ‘Hint of Life’ on Saturn’s Moon Titan”–headline, Daily Mail (London), June 4
We Don’t Like Cycle Paths Either, but There’s No Cause for Violence
“Mayors Beat World Leaders Promoting Cycle Paths”–headline, Bloomberg, June 4
Better Than Formaldehyde
“Accenture Will Preserve Barbara Walters”–headline, Washington Business Journal, June 3
I Could if I Got Luckey
“Could You Make the Cut at the Scripps National Spelling Bee?”–headline, Saginaw (Mich.) News, June 3
Questions Nobody Is Asking
• ”She Has an iPad–So Is Suri Cruise Spoiled?”–headline, E! Online, June 3
• ”Opinion: Did Al Gore Invent His Marriage Too?”–headline, AOL News, June 3
• ”Would My Flotilla to Khodorkovsky Be Shot?”–headline, Moscow Times, June 2
• ”Who Has the Best Pajamas?”–headline, WTOP-FM website (Washington), June 3
Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking
• ”Why Fancy Cakes Taste So Crummy”–headline, The Wall Street Journal, June 4
• ”Al and Tipper Gore’s Split: Why I’m Not Sad”–headline, PoliticsDaily.com, June 3
Someone Set Up Us the Bomb
“Looking for a Fake 700,000 May Non-Farm Payroll Number”–headline, TheMarketGuardian.com, June 2
Look Out Below!
“Google Dropping Windows Over Security? Good Luck With That”–headline, PCWorld.com, June 1
It’s Always in the Last Place You Look
“Ohio Woman Finds Groundhog Hiding Under Car Hood”–headline, Associated Press, June 2
News You Can Use
“July: When Not to Go to the Hospital”–headline, U.S. News & World Report website, June 3
Bottom Stories of the Day
• ”Aussie Sprinter Not Working Out for Cowboys”–headline, Dallas Morning News website, June 3
• ”Old Greenwich Boy Not Selected for Spelling Bee Semis”–headline, Greenwich (Conn.) Time, June 3
• ”EXCLUSIVE: Documents Show Kagan’s Liberal Opinion on Social Issues”–headline, CBSNews.com, June 3
• ”Pat Buchanan Demonstrates His Hatred of Jews a Little More . . .”–headline, HotAir.com, June 4
