Headlines

Posted by dailyslog on 09/12/2011 | Short Link

‘2 Children Are Enough,’ Michelle Insisted

We Blame George W. Bush 
“70 Years Since Pearl Harbor, Americans Are Still Wondering Who Was to Blame”–headline, Daily Mail (London), Dec. 7

‘It’ Is the Subject, ‘Is’ Is the Verb, ‘F—ing Golden’ is an Adjectival Phrase 
“Blagojevich: It’s Time to Be Strong, Fight Through Adversity and Explain Sentence to Children”–headline, Associated Press, Dec. 7

That’s No Way to Talk About Al Gore 
“Tool Helps Farmers Anticipate Their Future Climate”–headline, SciDev.net, Dec. 7

The Unauthorized Biography of Maureen Dowd 
“Always a Bed-Wetter, Never a Bride”–headline, New York Times website, Dec. 7

So Much for the 13th Amendment 
“Christie Owns Chap Who Asks if He Plants Town Hall Questions”–headline, FoxNews.com, Dec. 7

Good News–the National Delinquency Rate Is Only Half Nevada’s 
“Nevada’s Mortgage Delinquency Rate Double the National Average”–headline, Las Vegas Review-Journal, Dec. 7

Hey Everyone, Free Condoms! 
“BSU.edu Not Paying .xxx for Protection”–headline, Star Press (Muncie, Ind.), Dec. 8

For Music That Really Sucks 
“Astronomers Discover Record Sized Black Holes”–headline, Forbes.com, Dec. 7

Get a New Architect 
“Church Pillared Unfairly”–headline, Kansas City Star, Dec. 7

If They Want to Reproduce, They’d Better Get Some Clothes On 
“Naked Mole Rats Have the World’s Ugliest, Most Sluggish Sperm”–headline, Mother Nature Network, Dec. 7

Hey, Kids! What Time Is It?

  • “It’s Time for Congress to Get off the Hamster Wheel”–headline, FoxNews.com, Dec. 7
  • “It’s Time for Gender Equality in Treatment of Heart Disease”–headline, Puffington Host, Dec. 7

Questions Nobody Is Asking 
“What if Tim Tebow Were a Muslim?”–headline, FoxNews.com, Dec. 7

Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking

  • “Why Mitt Romney Is Like Jan From ‘The Brady Bunch’ “–headline, FoxNews.com, Dec. 7
  • “Why Barack Obama Is not a Modern-Day Theodore Roosevelt!”–headline, PJMedia.com, Dec. 7
  • “In Re Stephen Glass, It’s Chuck Lane’s Opinion That I’m Interested In”–headline, Volokh.com, Dec. 7

Too Much Information 
“Bill Clinton Says Wife Hillary ‘Just Wants a Good Night’s Sleep’ “–headline, New York Post, Dec. 7

News of the Tautological 
“Local Dealerships Say Car Sales Are Good”–headline, Record Journal (Meriden, Conn.), Dec. 7

Breaking News From 1982 
“Jane Fonda Defies Her Age With 1980s Leotard”–headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Dec. 8

News You Can Use 
“CDC: Castrating Lambs With Your Teeth May Make You Sick”–headline, WSJ.com, Dec. 8

Bottom Stories of the Day

  • “Investors Await Outcome of European Union Emergency Meetings”–headline, Los Angeles Times, Dec. 8
  • “Obama Raises Money for Re-Election Bid”–headline, Associated Press, Dec. 7
  • “Gay Half-Sister of Newt Gingrich Backing Barack Obama”–headline, Reuters, Dec. 8

Two Superlatively Bad Writers in One!

  • “And, as we sit here today, the popular trend is not with the Muslim Brotherhood. Indeed, what makes the uprising here [in Egypt] so impressive–and in that sense so dangerous to other autocracies in the region–is precisely the fact that it is not owned by, and was not inspired by, the Muslim Brotherhood.”–Thomas Friedman, New York Times website, Feb. 13
  • “The fact that the Muslim Brotherhood and the even more fundamentalist Salafist Nour Party have garnered some 65 percent of the votes in the first round of Egypt’s free parliamentary elections since the ouster of President Hosni Mubarak should hardly come as a surprise. Given the way that the military regimes in the Arab world decimated all independent secular political parties over the last 50 years, there is little chance of any Arab country going from Mubarak to Jefferson without going through some Khomeini.”–Friedman, New York Times, Dec. 7
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