Posted by dailyslog on 03/02/2012 in Headlines | Short Link

Did You Hear About the Rabbi Who Didn’t Get Paid for Performing Circumcisions? 
“Carson City Prostitutes Stand Up for Paul Donating Their Tips”–headline, Bloomberg, Feb. 2

Metaphor Alert 
“These data demonstrate a growing undercurrent of discontent. The division in the country is narrow; there are many on each side. But the gulf is deep, and growing deeper. The question now is: Can any politician or party heal this rift, or has the United States truly become a house divided?“–Washington Times, Feb. 2

We Blame George W. Bush 
“RPT-Egypt Brotherhood Blames ‘Invisible’ Hand for Violence”–headline, Reuters, Feb. 2

He Died for Your Sins, Might as Well Make the Most of It 
“Obama: I Pushed Dodd-Frank and Health Care Reform Because of Christ”–headline, BuzzFeed.com, Feb. 2

Ann Romney Says ‘Thanks’ 
“Obama Helps Woman With Husband’s Resume”–headline, Associated Press, Feb. 1

But in the End, They’ll Settle for Romney 
“Newfound Alien Planet is Best Candidate Yet to Support Life, Scientists Say”–headline, Space.com, Feb. 2

Leave Newt Gingrich Alone! 
“64-Year-Old Tub of Lard Found in Germany–Still Edible”–headline, Agence France-Presse, Feb. 1

The Fiat Deal Fell Through? 
“No Takers for Obama’s $1 Million Chrysler”–headline, NewsCore, Feb. 2

With DNC in Mind, City Bans Carrying Urine, Feces

‘And We Have Better Hair’ 
“Kerry’s a Cut Above the Rest!”–headline, Jarrow and Hebburn (England) Gazette, Feb. 2

Volunteer Now and They’ll Give You a Hat 
“Kerry Volunteer Centre”–headline, Kerryman (Tralee, Ireland), Feb. 2

A Stand-Up Guy 
“Urinating Marine ‘Leader’ “–headline, Sydney Morning Herald, Feb. 3

Somebody Give Gov. Brown an Audition 
“John Chiang Says California’s Cash Will Dry Up if Officials Don’t Act”–headline, Sacramento Bee, Feb. 1

‘He’s Still Dead! Nooooooooo!’ 
“Franco Victims’ Relatives Relive the Horror”–headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Feb. 1

Some Doctors Have It Coming 
“Smacking Never Right, Say Doctors”–headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Jan. 31

Couldn’t They Just Use eHarmony? 
“Sacramento Stinks: Skunks Invade the City in Search of Their Perfect Mate”–headline, Daily Mail (London), Feb. 1

Questions Nobody Is Asking 
If Newt Gingrich was to gain the Republican nomination and if he was to win the presidential election (and if the Cubs were to win the World Series) and if he was to somehow cut taxes and find enough money to open a base on the moon, how big a humidifier would be necessary to compensate for the moon’s 1/6-weaker gravity when the [Tampa Bay] Rays move there for a better stadium and a larger fan base?”–Jim Caple, ESPN.com, Feb. 1

Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking 
“What We Need Is More Apathy in This Country”–headline, PJMedia.com, Feb. 2

Look Out Below! 
“Shelter Drops Lunch Program”–headline, Boston Herald, Feb. 2

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look 
” ‘Where Is the Uprising From the Left?’ “–headline, Der Spiegel, Feb. 1

Breaking News From 1946, 1962, 1964, 1986, 1994 
“Kennedy Poised to Run for Congress”–headline, Harvard Crimson, Jan. 31

Breaking News From 1986 
“Facebook Readies for Blockbuster IPO”–headline, CNN.com, Feb. 1

Bottom Story of the Day 
“Obama Won’t Come Close on Pledge to Halve Deficit, CBO Says”–headline, USA Today, Feb. 1

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