Office Fracas

Posted by dailyslog on 22/02/2013 in Headlines | Short Link

Life Imitates ‘The Office’ 
“Office Coffee Cups Harbor Nasty Germs”–headline, WTOP-FM website (Washington), Feb. 20

The Victim Survived, but the Doctors Couldn’t Save His Fracas 
“Cops: Cortlandt Man Stabbed in Fracas Over Girlfriend”–headline, Journal News (White Plains, N.Y.), Feb. 18

You Shoulda Seen the One That Got Away 
“Survey Finds That Fish Are Often Not What Label Says”–headline, New York Times, Feb. 21

We Blame George W. Bush 

“Thigh Fat May Be to Blame for Older Adults Who Slow Down”–headline, National Institute on Aging press release, Feb. 18

We Blame Global Warming 
“Video: McCain Town Hall on Immigration in Arizona Gets Hot”–headline,, Feb. 20

The Secretary of State Walks Into a Bar . . . 
“McGuigan Says Kerry Face Long Wait to Lift Sam”–headline, Irish Examiner, Feb. 19

Shortest Books Ever Written 
“Chuck Hagel, Strategic Thinker”–headline,, Feb. 19

‘Now, What Did We Do With Those Kids . . .?’ 
“Abortion-Rights PAC Staffers Behind Push for Gun-Control ‘Million Kid March’ on DC”–headline,, Feb. 19

To Serve Man 
“Abortion Group Hires Obama-Linked Consulting Firm to Grill Pro-Lifers at Home”–headline,, Feb. 20

So Much for the War on Drugs

  • “[Cardinal Timothy] Dolan was asked about rumors that he would be named the first American pope when the College of Cardinals convenes next month to select Pope Benedict’s successor. ‘I’d say those are only from people smoking marijuana,’ Dolan said.”–New York Post, Feb. 18
  • “Buzz Growing Around Cardinal O’Malley as Possible Pope”–headline, Boston Herald, Feb. 19

Split Ends? 

“Harry Styles, Taylor Swift Breakup: One Direction Star Says He’s ‘Okay,’ Speaks Out About Split”–headline, Puffington Host, Feb. 19

Sex Machines

  • “Drunk Man ‘Tried to Have Sex With an Ambulance’ “–headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Feb. 14
  • “Saturn Gets Kinky”–headline,, Feb. 20

The Twins Dodge a Bullet

She Was Afraid She’d Die Before Her Time 
“It’s Never Too Late to Quit! Birthday Girl Clara Finally Gives Up Smoking at the Age of 102-After Puffing on 60,000 Cigarettes”–headline, Daily Mail (London), Feb. 18

Questions Nobody Is Asking

  • “Why Do Slugs Huddle?”–headline, Guardian website (London), Feb. 20
  • “Why Did Mindy McCready Shoot Her Dog?”–headline,, Feb. 19
  • “The 2014 SS: Chevrolet Answers a Question, but Was Anybody Asking?”–headline, New York Times website, Feb. 18

Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking

  • “What Former Rep. David Dreier Is Up To Next”–headline,, Feb. 20
  • “Man Tells AP: ‘I Wanted to Let You Know’ My Husband and I ‘Use These Terms’ “–headline,, Feb. 19

Look Out Below! 
“Pickle Company Agrees to Drop ‘Midget’ “–headline, United Press International, Feb. 19

We Blame Global Warming 
“Hearing Gets Heated on Bill Limiting Board of Regents”–headline, Associated Press, Feb. 21

Longest Books Ever Written 
” ‘The Gray Lady’ Stumbles: How Could the New York Times Get Things So Wrong?”–headline,, Feb. 20

Generalissimo Francisco Franco Is Still Dead 
“Republican Senator John McCain Is Still Raising Questions and Hackles”–headline, Washington Post, Feb. 21

The Cereal Port Driver Has Some Bugs

  • “How Google Is Preparing the World for Glass”–headline,, Feb. 20
  • “Kellogg Recalls Cereal Over Glass Risk”–headline,, Feb. 20

We Thought They’d Never Finish This Study 
“Study: Chronic Lateness Is a Sign of Deeper Psychological Issues”–headline, WTOP-FM website (Washington), Feb. 20

To Serve Man 
“Students Cook Up Competition”–headline, Iowa State Daily, Feb. 20

We Thought Women Were From Venus 
“N.J. Woman Was Fired From Mars for Being Gay and Pregnant, Lawsuit Says”–headline, Star-Ledger (Newark), Feb. 21

Here’s a Dollar. Anybody Got 30 Cents? 
“$1.3 Demand by Nigerian Pirates for Kidnapped Soldiers”–headline, Jerusalem Post, Feb. 20

That’s a Lot of Fixes 
“Boeing to Propose Package of 787 Battery Fixes to FAA”–headline, The Wall Street Journal, Feb. 21

Questions Nobody Is Asking 

“MSNBC, a Bastion of Obama Advocates?”–headline,, Feb. 21

Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking 
“Jimmy Carter: No Relationship With Obama”–headline,, Feb. 21

Question and Answer–I

  • “Where Can the Miami Dolphins Improve Most for 2013? “–headline,, Feb. 21
  • “Dolphins Call Each Other by Name”–headline,, Feb. 19

Question and Answer–II

  • “Where Is Sodom?”–headline,, Feb. 20
  • “Toronto Sodom Parties Still Going Strong Almost Four Years Later”–headline,, Feb. 15

Look Out Below!

  • “Sorority Girl Drops 107 Pounds”–headline,, Feb. 20
  • “Christie Soars in New Jersey”–headline,, Feb. 20

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look 
“Kepler Spacecraft Helps Astronomers Find Tiny Planet Beyond Our Solar System”–headline,, Feb. 20

Breaking News From 2017 
“Work Begins on Most U.S. Single-Family Homes in Four Years”–headline, Bloomberg, Feb. 20

News You Can Use

  • ” ‘Pay Yo’ Damn Taxes!’ “–headline,, Feb. 20
  • “Use Protection When Engaging in Social Media”–headline, Chicago Tribune, Feb. 21
  • “Silent Treatment Is the Best Way to Deal With Rude People, According to New Study”–headline, Daily Mail (London), Feb. 21

Bottom Story of the Day

  • “Pacers Attendance Woes Not Tied to Racism, Says Bob Kravitz”–headline, Indianapolis Star, Feb. 21
  • “John Kerry Threatens to Bore the World to Death With Excruciating First Speech as Secretary of State”–headline, Daily Telegraph website (London), Feb. 21
  • “G.O.P. Is Resisting Obama Pressure on Tax Increase”–headline, New York Times, Feb. 21

News of the Tautological 
“Survivalist/Conspiracy Theorist Says His Views Have Made Him a Target”–headline, Philadelphia Daily News, Feb. 20

News You Can Use

  • “10 Health Reasons Women Should Have Sex”–headline, Omaha World-Herald, Feb. 19
  • “Biden: ‘Buy a Shotgun. Buy a Shotgun.’ “–headline,, Feb. 19

Bottom Stories of the Day

  • “Chicago Not Interested in 2024 Olympic Bid”–headline, Chicago Tribune, Feb. 19
  • “Nigerians Criticise Kim Kardashian’s Visit”–headline,, Feb. 20
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