The 50’s still rock!

Posted by dailyslog on 28/04/2013 in Headlines | Short Link

Roll Over, Anthony Weiner 
“Who’s Laughing Now? Redding Grocer Uses Bumbling Burglar Video to Advertise His Pastrami”–headline, Record Searchlight (Redding, Calif.), April 2304281

Good Golly 
“Miami Beach Students Suspected of Overdosing on Molly”–headline, Miami Herald, April 23

Out on a Limb 
“Woman Accused of Severing Husband’s Penis Was Vengeful, D.A. Says”–headline, Los Angeles Times website, April 25

We Blame George W. Bush

  • “UN Official Blames Boston Marathon Bombings on American ‘Domination’ “–headline,, April 23
  • “Kerry Blames Terrorism on ‘People Who Have No Belief System'”–headline,, April 24
  • “As Manager-in-Chief, Obama Blamed for FAA Woes”–headline,, April 24
  • “Plastic Surgery Blamed for Making All Miss Korea Contestants Look Alike”–headline,, April 25

Life Imitates the Onion

  • Nah, Just Seeking Higher Office
    “Crazed Palestinian Gunman Angered by Stereotypes”–headline, Onion, March 5, 1997
  • ” ‘[Tamerlan Tsarnaev] was looking for connections between the wars in the Middle East and oppression of Muslim population around the globe,’ [Tsarnaev’s former brother-in-law] said in an e-mail. ‘It was very hard to argue with him on themes somehow connected to religion. On the other hand, he did not hate Christians. He respected their faith. Never said anything bad about other religions. But he was angry that the world pictures Islam as a violent religion.’ “–New York Times, April 24

“Is Obama Evolving on Marijuana?”–headline,, April 24

He Also Promised to Shut Guantanamo 
“President Obama to Daughters: If You Get a Tattoo, I’m Getting One Too”–headline, Daily News (New York), April 24

Starve the Beast?

  • “When Food Isn’t the Answer to Hunger”–headline, New York Times website, April 24
  • “Guantánamo Prisoners Hold Hunger Strike”–headline, New York Times website, April 26

The TSA Could Help With That 0428

“Hill Gropes Toward Fix for FAA Cuts”–headline,, April 24

Longest Books Ever Written

  • “Michael Bloomberg’s Creepy Authoritarianism”–headline,, April 24
  • “Obama’s Hubris Problem”–headline,, April 26

We Thought the Elder Cuomo Was Still Alive 
“Poll: Cuomo Inherited State’s Economic Woes”–headline, Journal News website (White Plains, N.Y.), April 24

And When She Says ‘All Around Us,’ She Means the Problem IsWidespread! 

“Fat-Shaming All Around Us”–headline,, April 25

Unfortunately, Blue-Cheese Dressing Makes Them Treyf 
“Israel to Make Wings for F-35 Warplanes”–headline, Associated Press, April 24

Peter Piper Passed a Peck of Picked Peppers Onto a Plane 
“TSA Postpones Plans to Permit Pocketknives on Planes”–headline, Plain Dealer website (Cleveland), April 23

The Woman Said, ‘Hi,’ and the Tiger Said, ‘Hey, Claudia!’ 
“Woman Meets Loose Circus Tiger in Bathroom”–headline, Associated Press, April 23

Never Thought I’d Fall, but When I Hear Your Call
I’m Getting Sedimental Over You 

“Don’t Panic: That Brown Stuff Flowing Into Lake Michigan Is Mostly Sediment, Says GVSU Professor”–headline, Muskegon (Mich.) Chronicle website, April 23

The 21st?
Nah, That’s the Worst

“How About Having a Poetry Century?”–headline, Jay Ambrose syndicated column, April 24

What a Great Way to Learn About the Maillard Reaction 
“Students Grill Science Honorees at Franklin Institute”–headline, Philadelphia Inquirer, April 25

That Would Be Hard to Top on the 2nd Date 
“Who Says Romance Is Dead? Man Pulls a Gun and Carjacks Woman at the End of Their First Date”–headline, Daily Mail (London), April 24

The Lonely Lives of Men 
“Study Reveals Men Are Seduced by Red Price Tags”–headline, Drexel University press release, April 24

Hey, Kids! What Time Is It?

  • “Goldman: It’s Time to Close Out Those Gold Shorts”–headline,, April 23
  • “It’s Time to Toughen Up Kids. Start Terrifying Them ‘Scarfolk’ Style”–headline, Daily Telegraph (London), April 25
  • “It’s Time for Better Women’s Magazines”–headline,, April 25

Questions Nobody Is Asking 
“Why Spurt in Cases of Sexual Perversion in Spite of Tough Law, Mass Outrage?”–headline, (India), April 24

Answers to Questions That Go in Circles Forever 
“After Boston: Why It’s Important That We Keep Asking ‘Why?’ “–headline Puffington Host, April 24

Look Out Below! 
“Why Did the IDF’s Top Analyst Drop His Syria WMD Bombshell?”–headline, Times of Israel, April 25

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look 
“Life on Mars? Finding It May Require Humans on Red Planet”–headline,, April 23

News of the Tautological

  • “RIVERSIDE: Attempted-Murder Suspect Has Violent Past, Police Say”–headline, Press-Enterprise website (Riverside, Calif.), April 23
  • “IU Study: Moms More Likely Than Other Employees to Leave Male-Dominated Jobs With Long Hours”–headline, Indiana University press release, April 224
  • “Husband in Murder/Suicide Dies”–headline, San Mateo (Calif.) Daily Journal, April 26

Breaking News From 613 
“Mohammed Making Big Contribution”–headline, Chicago Tribune, April 23

News You Can Use 
“Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Swallowing Drugs or Stuffing Them up Your Butt”–headline,, April 24

Bottom Stories of the Day

  • “Report: Kerry Not Scheduled to Visit Lebanon Soon”–headline,, April 23
  • “Lull in the Seattle/Sacramento Saga”–headline, Seattle Times website, April 24
  • “Barney Frank compares al-Qaeda to Tea Party”–headline, Washington Examiner website, April 25
  • “Deportations Continue as Congress Seeks Immigration Reform”–headline, Puffington Host, April 24
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